The Other Side of Judgment and Fear
Hello everyone, welcome ❤
I was trying to get caught up reading and commenting to posts the other day and I came to a one that dray0308 from Dream Big Dream Often reblogged. The title of the post was “Worrying About Nothing” This post was about questioning yourself, your choices and decisions rather than just living and enjoying your life.
It’s sad how often we judge ourselves. We suffer under the crushing fear that we can’t live the life we want because we aren’t doing enough, we aren’t good enough, we aren’t smart enough, we aren’t pretty or handsome enough. We just aren’t, right enough.
I’ve been to that dark place. I spent 10 years struggling with little to no self esteem and believing everything bad in my life was my fault, that there was nothing I could do right. I spared no judgment against myself. I saw my son, how we were living and it was all my fault because I took us there.
Self judgment and fear are crippling. They stop any forward movement in our lives. When we don’t believe in ourselves and our abilities neither will anyone else. Why should they?The result is that we feel so bad all the time. And I did. I cried, a lot. One day in particular I was in my car on my way to somewhere I don’t even remember. I was talking to the Godhead about the many why’s. I am a good person why was this happening to us? Why are things not getting better? Why is he treating us like this? Why can’t I be happy, what am I doing wrong? Logic tells us that this judgment, fear and anguish is pointless but still we can’t move because we don’t know to break free of the sadness we are so deeply embedded in.
Then I asked the question that changed everything for my son and I. I had gone back to the house (that is a very loose term here) I was standing in the kitchen and I remember slamming my fist on the counter and shouting. “When is it going to be my turn?” I heard a voice next to me say “When you give yourself permission Sharon”
I laughed and cried for about a half hour. My guides answer was so loving and so simple. We humans make things so complicated. Life is really not complicated. I was so lost that I could no longer see. I knew the answers to all my Why’s. The problem was I was so beat down that I didn’t know who I was anymore.
The first step away from judgment and fear must come from within. I had to make the decision that my life was valuable. I have a purpose and to sit in neutral was not an option. I gave myself permission to live again, permission to have the life of my dreams!
When we are in that dark place we have to find our spark again. For some of us, like me, it could be all but dead from the self judgment we heap upon ourselves. Fan it back to a roaring flame. It can be difficult trying to get beyond the place where all we do is imagine the worst of ourselves. When you do though you feel so much better. You find your power again, your voice again. A reason to keep going again!
Yes it can be scary, things can and most likely will go wrong and it will take some time. It’s worth the journey, life on the other side of judgment and fear has such a better view.
Have a wonderful week